I’ve been reading a new book about how we express appreciation and admiration for each other especially in the work place. The book, How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work describes the 7 languages for transformation by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey. This language (the fifth of seven) teaches us to move from the common practice of praise to one of “on-going regard”. This subtle change in our approach can help us more intrinsically give a gift of self-disclosure to a colleague that is more sincere and valuable than praise.
The “language of on-going regard” seems simple enough, but is a missed opportunity that has 3 important elements that all need to be present. They are to: be direct, be specific and be non-attributive. Understanding and incorporating these elements into your language takes some reflective practice to achieve.
Lynne and I are working on these languages and we welcome you or your team to join us.